Happiness as...

"happy as a pig in mud" (or something worse than mud)

I don't know of any classic phrases that express happiness, but growing up on a farm this is what comes to mind for me.

Create a new phrase (or send in another old one). Please indicate whether your phrase is a new one or one you've heard.

Examples:
(new) "happy as a kitten with yarn"
(new) "happy as a kid watching SpongeBob"

Blended Words

Did you know that the word 'chortle' is a blend between 'chuckle' and 'snort'? And that it was created by Lewis Carroll?

Did you remember that 'smog' is a blend of 'smoke' and 'fog'?

'Ginormous' is a new word that seems to be catching on these days. It is a blend of 'gigantic' and 'enormous.'

These are called portmanteau words. A portmanteau is a large travelling case made of two parts connected by a hinge. So, a portmanteau word is formed by linking, or blending, two or more words.

There are good lists of portmanteau words at the following websites:
http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/portmant.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portmanteau

Create a new blended word and send it in as a comment.
(If you know of an old blended word that is not listed at the websites above, send that in also but please indicate that it is an old word.)

Please send your comments in the following form:
(new or old) term - definition & a sample sentence

Examples:
(new) strawcherry - a flavor combining strawberry and cherry
"Have you tasted the new strawcherry ice cream?"

(new) taxpert - an expert in taxes
"I used to have a guy do my taxes but TurboTax is now my taxpert."

Out of Place

"He's a fish out of water."
"She's a square peg in a round hole."

Create new phrases for being extremely out of place.

You may phrase your answer as a simile, as follows.

Example:
"He's as out of place as a Red Sox fan in an all-Yankee section."

Idiotic Idioms

I've definitely had times of "being slow on the uptake."

There are many phrases that can express my mental slowness:
"He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer."
"The lights are on but no one's home."

Create a new phrase (or send in another classic one.)

Please indicate whether your phrase is a new one or one you've heard.

Examples:
(new, I think) "Let's just say, he's easily distracted by shiny objects."
(old) "The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top."

"Is the Pope Catholic?"

An imagined conversation:

First Friend: "Does Jim Carrey have a limber body?"
(honestly wants to know)
Second Friend: "Is the Pope Catholic?"
(a common retort that substitutes for "Yes")

"Does Rose Kennedy own a black dress?" was often used when Rose Kennedy was alive because of so many funerals in the Kennedy family.

Create new questions to replace these well-worn retorts and send them in as a comment.

How cold is it!?

It is so cold...
How cold is it!?
It is so cold that even fire freezes.

Create an exaggeration for how cold it is.

For the fun of it, also send in your location and temperature so the New Englanders can brag about how cold it is and the Floridians can boast how balmy it is.

Example:
It is so cold that even the polar bears are moving to Florida.
(Boston, MA, 3 degrees but feels like -11)

Cell Phone Etiquette

We need some new terms describing the behaviors surrounding the use of cell phones. Here are some needs I see and some possible terms to describe them.

The cell yell - when someone is speaking too loudly on their cell
(Maybe you have a better term for this. )

Phone zone - when a cell phone user is oblivious to those around him
(Maybe you have a better term for this. )

Another need: You are trapped next to a loud cell phone user. What do you call it?

What other cell phone behaviors and situations do we need new terms for? What new terms will work to name them?

Please send your comments in the following form:
term - definition & a sample sentence

Example:
phone zone - when a cell phone user is oblivious to others around him
"I needed this guy to move away from the door but he was in such a phone zone that I couldn't get his attention."

"Thorn in my side"

Let's get started!

"You are a thorn in my side." This is a common metaphor.

Create a new one that has about the same meaning.

For example:
"You are the mosquito in my tent."
"You are the virus in my computer."
"You are the rock in my sock."

Create your own and let me know.

My ten favorite responses. Of course, my judgment is extremely subjective. The important test is whether any of these start to be used in actual speech. Let me know if you hear this happen.

"a nail in my tail" (Fiona)
"the choke in my artichoke" (Amy)
"the Potter in my Bedford Falls" (Harry)
"the rage in my road" (Harry & Amy)
"the spam in my inbox" (Harry)
"the horn in my hide" (Max)
"the jab in my flab" (Max)
"the ants in my pantry" (Janet)
"the 'B' in my movie" (CCC)
"the drip in my faucet"